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am not ready to commit to my spiritual
growth yet because I need...
1.
More time
2.
More financial security
3.
Better health
4.
My relationship with my spouse/lover to:
a. improve
b. end
5.
My attitude to change
6.
Someone else’s attitude to change
7.
A crisis
8.
To graduate
9.
My career to take off
10.
The children to move out of the house
11.
To retire/get away from it all
12.
To feel young and energetic again
13.
A more favorable alignment of stars and
planets in my horoscope
14.
A quiet place/environment
15.
To get over my:
a. depression
b. cold
c.
divorce/separation/mourning
d. financial troubles
e. stress
f. worldly desires
g. ego
h. procrastination
16.
Inspiration
17.
To love/nurture myself first
18.
To feel more love for God
19.
A sign from God
20.
Another life


Sounds painfully or
comically familiar? As St Augustine cried out in despair in his
Confessions, "Lord, make me good, but just not yet."
This is just the beginning. As the urge to know the
Truth intensifies in our consciousness, the intensity and creativity of
self-defeating talk increases too. See here an example in action.
This is a necessary phase of soul maturation. It is
only through this continuous process of pitting our spiritual will against
our ego that we develop a wise and steady intellect. Fight on bravely,
little soldier. Never give up hope, and refuse this negative internal
talk.
"For
a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten
through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt
to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these
obstacles were
my life."
- Alfred D.
Souza
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